The media has created a frenzy of “clapping back” incidents involving celebrities and politicians.
They’ve normalized this confrontational trend and I’m not sure that’s truly a good thing. Though I’m also not sure it’s bad.
Full disclosure: I had my own clapping back incident last week.
Here’s what happened:
I posted an article I had written on LinkedIn.
Someone complimented my timely topic, then proceeded to draw attention to herself by stating what she advises her clients in the same situation.
Which was exactly the opposite of what I advised in my article.
She closes with the offer of her input on another topic.
Call me petty, but I was pissed off.
I thought she was using my post to promote herself. And then casting herself as the go-to expert. Totally not cool in my book.
So I clapped back. I wrote a fairly lengthy reply to her comment. And, yeah, I wasn’t very nice.
Maybe some people would have just let it go, but this Jersey girl has a hard time with that. ;)
Beyond anything else, it was just bad manners and I hate bad manners.
She wrote a lengthy response detailing how I misunderstood her intentions and she actually meant just the opposite of what she said.
So, I did what I always do. I looked for the message and how to apply it to the content I produce for my VR tribe.
I came up with three little pearls to pass along.
Listen To Receive Information, Not To Wait To Answer
Here’s a great quote from Stephen Covey:
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply.”
It’s a great and accurate quote. I would further posit that we all listen with expectations of the speaker’s intent.
Do you do that? I know I do.
With that in mind, is it possible to misunderstand a guest’s tone when they ask when (fill in the blank) is going to be addressed? Of course it is.
Not only do we sometimes misinterpret tone and intent, we also have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes.
Maybe that guest has a spouse yelling at them to get it fixed. Maybe there’s a fussy baby who won’t go down for a nap. Maybe the guest feel wracked with guilt because they picked this house and expected everything to be perfect.
All we hear is words. We have to interpret the rest and sometimes, we make mistakes.
So, how do we fix that?
Slow Down. Ask Questions. Show Some Compassion.
As hard as it is, take a beat. I know your phones are ringing. I know you’ve got calls to return and other tasks to complete.
Think of it this way: If you slowed down, really listened and asked some follow-up questions, is it possible that you would resolve your guests’ issue more quickly, because you’re actually grasping what it is?
I think it is. I also think it would reduce the likelihood of a call-back from that guest.
Hey! A win-win!
And seriously, it doesn’t take much to show some compassion. Just speak to them as you would want to be spoken to in their situation.
Even something as simple as a sincere, “I’m sorry this happened. I know it’s the last thing you wanted on vacation” will go a long way in defusing the guest’s anger/distress.
When All Else Fails, Clap Back
Okay, I can hear you guys laughing right now.
But seriously.
If you have done everything you can think to do and your guest is still in your face, you may have to do something drastic to defuse the situation.
I’ve been there too many times.
Guests that subscribe to the “customer is always right” syndrome allow that misconception to embolden them.
Certainly, there are times when they’re just blowing off some steam and that’s fine. But, if they don’t stop after a few minutes, you’ve got to cut it them off or you’ll just end up with a meltdown on your hands.
Sometimes, ya just gotta clap back. On far more than one occasion, I clapped back. I kinda hate to say it, but it worked.
I once had a guest drone on on the phone for probably 10 minutes, before I finally said to her, “Ma’am, if you don’t let me get off the phone, I can’t fix this problem for you.”
Many times, I had to use a distinctly direct and assertive voice ("Sir, I've already told you what I'm doing to address this. If you have another suggestion, I'll be happy to listen to it. If not, I will call you when I have something to report." spoken slowly and with direct eye contact) to restore order to a situation that was spiraling out of control.
While guest relations is certainly the most important part of staff responsibilities, guests do cross lines and no employee should be expected to accept that. Neither should a manager or owner.
Please have their backs. Don’t allow a guest to rob a staff member of his/her dignity.
And don’t normalize unacceptable behavior.
So, do I wish I had responded differently to my LinkedIn commenter? That’s a tough one.
On one hand, maybe I should have followed my own advice and contacted her via DM for clarification instead of just calling her out.
On the other hand, maybe she should have put in the work to write her own content instead of piggybacking off mine to promote herself.
Either way, you just don’t piss off a Jersey girl. So there’s that, too. ;)
What do you think?